The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes

From The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes, Edited by Clifton Fadiman:

During William Morris’s last visit to Paris, he spent much of his time in the restaurant of the Eiffel Tower, either eating or writing. When a friend observed that he must be very impressed by the tower to spend so much time there, Morris snorted, “Impressed! I remain here because it’s the only place in Paris where I can avoid seeing the damn thing.”

Censuring Stalin at a public meeting, Khrushchev was interrupted by a voice from the audience. “You were one of Stalin’s colleagues,” shouted the heckler. “Why didn’t you stop him?” “Who said that?” roared Khrushchev. There was an agonizing silence in the room. Nobody dared to move a muscle. Then, in a quiet voice, Khrushchev said, “Now you know why.”

A Thessalian brought an exceptionally beautiful horse, named Bucephalus, to the Macedonian court, offering to sell it to King Philip. However, when the royal grooms tried to test its paces it proved wild and unmanageable. The young Alexander asked his father for permission to try his skill. Philip reluctantly agreed, saying that if the prince failed to ride Bucephalus he was to pay his father a forfeit equal to its price. Alexander walked quickly to the horse’s head and turned it to face into the sun, for he had noticed that the horse’s own shadow was upsetting it. He calmed it, then mounted it, and Bucephalus obediently showed off his paces. The court, which had feared for the prince’s safety, broke into loud applause. Philip was overjoyed. He kissed his son, saying, “Seek another kingdom that may be worthy of your abilities, for Macedonia is too small for you.”

After Einstein had gone into exile, a hundred Nazi professors published a book condemning his theory of relativity. Einstein was unconcerned. “If I were wrong,” he said, “one professor would have been enough.”

During the Peloponnesian War an eclipse occurred when Pericles was about to set out to sea. As the pilot was too terrified to perform his duties, Pericles stepped forward and covered the man’s head with his cloak. “does this frighten you?” he asked. “No,” said the pilot. “Then what difference is there between the two events,” inquired Pericles, “except that the sun is covered by a larger object than my cloak?”

Some months after the end of his term as president, Eisenhower was asked if leaving the White House had affected his golf game. “Yes,” he replied, “a lot more people beat me now.”

Horace’s Diffugere Nives by Camões (1595)

Fogem as neves frias
dos altos montes, quando reverdecem
as árvores sombrias;
as verdes ervas crescem,
e o prado ameno de mil cores tecem.

Zéfiro brando espira;
suas setas Amor afia agora;
Progne triste suspira
e Filomela chora;
o Céu da fresca terra se enamora.

Vai Vênus Citereia
com os coros das Ninas rodeada;
a linda Panopeia,
despida e delicada,
com as duas irmãs acompanhada.

Enquanto as oficinas
dos Cíclopes Vulcano está queimando,
vão colhendo boninas
as Ninfas e cantando,
a terra co ligeiro pé tocando.

Desce do duro monte
Diana, já cansada d’espessura,
buscando a clara fonte
onde, por sorte dura,
perdeu Actéon a natural figura.

Assim se vai passando
a verde Primavera e seco Estio;
trás ele vem chegando
depois o Inverno frio,
que também passará por certo fio.

Ir-se-á embranquecendo
com a frígida neve o seco monte;
e Júpiter, chovendo,
turbará a clara fonte;
temerá o marinheiro a Orionte.

Porque, enfim, tudo passa;
não sabe o tempo ter firmeza em nada;
e nossa vida escassa
foge tão apressada
que, quando se começa, é acabada.

Que foram dos Troianos
Hector temido, Eneias piadoso?
Consumiram-te os anos,
Ó Cresso tão famoso,
sem te valer teu ouro precioso.

Todo o contentamento
crias que estava no tesouro ufano?
Ó falso pensamento
que, à custa de teu dano,
do douto Sólon creste o desengano!

O bem que aqui se alcança
não dura, por possante, nem por forte;
que a bem-aventurança
durável de outra sorte
se há-de alcançar, na vida, para a morte.

Porque, enfim, nada basta
contra o terrível fim da noite eterna;
nem pode a deusa casta
tornar à luz supernal?
Hipólito, da escura noite averna.

Nem Teseu esforçado,
com manha nem com força rigorosa,
livrar pode o ousado
Piritoo da espantosa
prisão leteia, escura e tenebrosa.

Age of Reason

From 2007, Arthur Krystal on Jacques Barzun:

Next month, Barzun, the eminent historian and cultural critic, will turn one hundred. His idea of celebrating his centenary is to put the finishing touches on his thirty-eighth book (not counting translations). Among his areas of expertise are French and German literature, music, education, ghost stories, detective fiction, language, and etymology. Barzun has examined Poe as proofreader, Abraham Lincoln as stylist, Diderot as satirist, and Liszt as reader; he has burnished the reputations of Thomas Beddoes, James Agate, and John Jay Chapman; and he has written so many reviews and essays that his official biographer is loath to put a number on them. There’s nothing hasty or haphazard about these evaluations. Barzun’s breadth of erudition has been a byword among friends and colleagues for six decades. Yet, in spite of his degrees and awards (he was made a Chevalier de l’Ordre National de la Légion d’Honneur and has received the Presidential Medal of Freedom), Barzun regards himself in many respects as an “amateur” (the Latin root, amator, means “lover”), someone who takes genuine pleasure in what he learns about. More than any other historian of the past four generations, Barzun has stood for the seemingly contradictory ideas of scholarly rigor and unaffected enthusiasm.

The Book to Read

“Before 1914 the critics and scholars of Central Europe were particularly free of national bias. They wrote about past and present art with such zeal and sympathy as to diffuse an atmosphere akin to that of the cosmopolitan 18C. It contributed to the mood of joy in creation and appreciation that made later comers look back on those years as a belle époque. Artists traveled freely — no passports or visas — many to Paris, where they might stay for a time, because the excitement there was the hottest; and, when back in Berlin, Vienna, Prague, or St. Petersburg, they merged their newfound inspirations with local influences and independent innovations. [The book to read is The World of Yesterday by Stefan Zweig.]” (Jacques Barzun, From Dawn to Decadence)

Not a Jewish Utopia

From Fin-De-Siècle Vienna: Politics and Culture by Carl E. Schorske:

The Jewish state as he conceived it in his pamphlet of the same name had no trace of Jewish character. There would be no common language – certainly not Hebrew. “After all, we can’t speak Hebrew with each other. Who among us knows enough Hebrew to ask for a railway ticket in that language? That word doesn’t exist.” The new state would have a “linguistic federalism,” in which each would speak the language he still loves, that of “our fatherlands, from which we were forced out.” Only Yiddish, “the crippled and repressed ghetto language,” “the purloined tongue of prisoners,” would be abandoned. The hallmark of indignity must not survive in a cultivated cosmopolitan’s paradise. Religion, too, would be kept in its place. “Theocratic archaisms [Velleitäten]” of the clergy would not arise. “Faith holds us together, science makes us free.” The clergy, while honored, would be confined to their temples like the army to the barracks, lest they cause trouble to a state committed to free thought. In all its features, Herzl’s promised land was in fact not a Jewish utopia but a liberal one. The dreams of assimilation which could not be realized in Europe would be realized in Zion, where Jews would have the nobility and honor of which Herzl had dreamed since his youth.

Those Who Know

From Nietzsche’s Human, All Too Human (tr. Hollingdale):

More respect for those who know! — Given the present competitive nature of selling, the public is necessarily the judge of the product of work: but the public has no particular specialist knowledge and judges according to the appearance of quality. As a consequence, the art of producing an appearance (and perhaps that of developing taste) is bound to be enhanced, and the quality of the product to decline, under the domi­nance of the competitive market. Consequently, if we are to continue to be reasonable we shall at some time have to put an end to this competitive market and replace it with a different principle. Only the skilled producer of the product ought to be the judge of the product, and the public ought to rely on their faith in him and his integrity. Therefore, no anonymous work! At the very least a knowledgeable expert in the product would have to be at hand as guarantor and place his name upon it if the name of its originator was unavailable or without significance. The cheapness of a product is another way of deceiving the layman, inasmuch as it is only durability that can determine whether or not a thing is cheap; but that is hard to assess, and for the layman impossible. — From all of which it follows that what is attractive to the eye and costs little now commands the market — and that can, of course, only be the product of the machine. For its part, again, the machine — that is to say, the means of great rapidity and facility of production — also favours the most saleable type of product; otherwise there is no great gain to be made from it; it would be too little used and too often silent. But what is most saleable is, as aforesaid, decided by the public: it will be the most deceptive product, that is to say that which appears to be of good quality and also appears to be cheap. Thus in this domain of work too our watchword must be: “More respect for those who know!”